unexpected (little did i know)

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it (anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet)

i want no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

***

as i cracked open ee cummings' poem collections, you smiled at me. staring at me with those eyes. i took a breath and started reading the first lines and my memory took me to that day. yes - that day. the first day i met you.

i just finished church, and one of our mutual friends called to see whether i'd like to join the group for lunch. i said yes. you were there, eating whatever you ate that day. wearing whatever shirt you wore that day. i honestly didn't remember the details, but one thing for sure - i know that you were cute and i was hoping that we would get a chance to talk. but then again, you were always talking to other people.

7 months passed by, i never really heard anything about you. maybe once or twice. occasionally.

little did i know that i'd meet you again. the indonesian kids on campus decided to get together and study for the finals. i honestly was reluctant to go, but i felt the sudden urge to just drop by and study for a while. i guess you thought the same.

little did i know that after the study session was over, one of my girlfriends told me she thought you were so cute and we'll make a great couple. that was supposed to be a joke. and i never considered it.

little did i know that we'd talk on msn that same night. we ended up talking 5 hours nonstop and even made an appointment to play piano together the next day. so the next day came. i studied - again. we played hangman during the study break, remember? and then we went to the piano room.

little did i know that you were a great jazz pianist, and you enjoyed songs that i enjoyed.

little did i know that you would invite me to go eat dinner with you afterwards. and oh so little did i know that you'd ask me out for dinner the day after, and the day after, and the day after.

little did i know that you'd eventually ask me out while watching glee.

little did i know that i'd be falling for someone as wonderful as you.

i am blessed. terribly blessed. abso-flippin-lutely blessed.

you were an unexpected heaven-sent blessing. you climbed my walls. you slowly crawled into the heart i've always been protecting from love.

and for being the one whom i always wished for, prayed for, wanted, and needed...i am forever grateful.

as i whispered the last lines, you leaned in, held my hand, and said "puisinya bagus ya... sekarang aku lapar, ayo makan?"

i can't help but smile. i love you, pacar. more than you know. more than you know.

p.s. hana sudah kembaliiiii. *jreng*

p.s. lagi. si pacar ingat persis aku pakai baju apa dan makan apa waktu pertama kali kita ketemu lho.

note: image courtesy of google images